Episode Guide

Series 1 (1974)

  1. Meet the Gang
    First Broadcast: (03/01/1974)
    The Concert Party is trying to rehearse a show without their regular pianist Gunner Graham, who's been sent on jankers by Sergeant Major Williams. A new gunner arrives in the camp. An anti-British demonstration disrupts the show.
  2. My Lovely Boy
    First Broadcast: (10/01/1974)
    Rangi Ram notices that the Sergeant Major and Gunner Parkins have a photograph of the same woman by their bed: she is the Sergeantís one and only love and Parky's mother. Does this mean that Gunner Parkins is his son?
  3. Mutiny of the Punka-Wallahs
    First Broadcast: (17/01/1974)
    The plan to replace the Punka Wallahs leads to trouble. Meanwhile, the boys are having problems with the heat.
  4. A Star is Born
    First Broadcast: (24/01/1974)
    When Gunner Parkins is removed from the concert party because of his incompetence, Sergeant Major Williams sees a chance to send the other men up the jungle.
  5. The Jungle Patrol
    First Broadcast: (31/01/1974)
    Sergeant Major takes the concert party on a jungle survival course in an attempt to make soldiers of them, but who will come out on top?
  6. Itís a Wise Child
    First Broadcast: (07/02/1974)
    The men of the concert party, as well as Sergeant Major Williams, try to find out the truth about Gunner Parkin's father.
  7. The Road to Bannu
    First Broadcast: (14/02/1974)
    The concert party has the misfortune to get stranded in a remote part of the North West Frontier. Williams sends Lofty to go and find help.
  8. The Inspector Calls
    First Broadcast: (21/02/1974)
    Sergeant Major Williams finds a way to get the concert party into uniform by devising a military musical number for them.

Series 2 (1975)

  1. Showing the Flag
    First Broadcast: (02/01/1975)
    The Sergeant Major tries to train the concert party to lower the flag at sunset.
  2. Down in the Jungle
    First Broadcast: (09/01/1975)
    The concert party's plane makes a crash landing and the men realise they could be behind enemy lines.
  3. The Natives Are Revolting
    First Broadcast: (16/01/1975)
    The Sergeant Major is determined to find out who replaced the camp's Union Jack with an Indian flag.
  4. Cabaret Time
    First Broadcast: (23/01/1975)
    A performance in the Kama Sutra Club gets the concert party and the Battery Sergeant Major into trouble.
  5. The Curse of the Sadhu
    First Broadcast: (30/01/1975)
    Sergeant Williams tempts the wrath of the gods by ejecting a revered holy man from the parade ground.
  6. Forbidden Fruits
    First Broadcast: (06/02/1975)
    When the army runs out of "that stuff they put in our tea" the men can't stop thinking about women. Colonel Reynolds tries to see Mrs Waddilove-Evans when her husband is not home.
  7. Has Anyone Seen My Cobra?
    First Broadcast: (13/02/1975)
    A snake-charmer's cobra goes missing and is found in the Sergeant Major's quarters.
  8. The Night of the Thugs
    First Broadcast: (20/02/1975)
    The concert party take refuge from a rainstorm in a ruined temple and fall victim to a fanatical native sect.

Series 3 (1976)

  1. The Supremo Show
    First Broadcast: (02/01/1976)
    While the officers are out of the way in hospital, Williams takes the opportunity to post the concert party up the jungleóbut is forced to bring them back to stage a special performance.
  2. Mind My Maharajah
    First Broadcast: (09/01/1976)
    The concert party is sent to the palace of the Maharajah of Bharatpur to protect him.
  3. Bang Goes the Maharajah
    First Broadcast: (16/01/1976)
    The concert party try to stop the attempts on the life of the Maharajah of Bharatpur.
  4. The Grand Illusion
    First Broadcast: (23/01/1976)
    Sergeant Major Williams finds that bragging about his troops can get him into trouble.
  5. Pale Hands I Love
    First Broadcast: (30/01/1976)
    The sergeant major falls in love and gets into trouble with the Tongs.
  6. Donít Take the Mickey
    First Broadcast: (06/02/1976)
    Sergeant Major Williams tries to break up the concert party by promoting Gunner Graham.

Series 4 (1976)

  1. Monsoon Madness
    First Broadcast: (02/11/1976)
    When the Sergeant Major makes the concert party perform fatigues to be ready for the arrival of the monsoon, Lofty goes mad and vows to kill the Sergeant Major.
  2. Kidnapped in the Khyber
    First Broadcast: (09/11/1976)
    When it becomes difficult for Colonel Reynolds to hide his affair with Mrs Waddilove-Evans, he decides it's best to accompany the concert party to a show on the North-West Frontier.
  3. A Fate Worse Than Death
    First Broadcast: (16/11/1976)
    The members of the concert party try to find the kidnapped Mrs Waddilove-Evans.
  4. Ticket to Blighty
    First Broadcast: (23/11/1976)
    Bombardier Beaumont tries different ways to get sent home.
  5. Loftyís Little Friend
    First Broadcast: (30/11/1976)
    An elephant follows Lofty to the camp.
  6. Fight to Jawani
    First Broadcast: (07/12/1976)
    Men from a remote RAF base get too excited when the concert party puts on a show.
  7. We Are Not Amused
    First Broadcast: (14/12/1976)
    A pageant, written by Captain Ashwood, might offend the Indian assistant to the District Officer.
  8. Twenty-One Today
    First Broadcast: (28/12/1976)
    Gunner Parkins turns twenty-one. Sergeant Major Williams wants to give him a present.

Series 5 (1977)

  1. Front Line Entertainers
    First Broadcast: (25/10/1977)
    When the men get sent up the jungle, they find that some Australian soldiers haven't vacated their camp, as was ordered.
  2. Bridge Over the River Hipong
    First Broadcast: (01/11/1977)
    While they are still having trouble adapting to the jungle, the members of the concert party get the task of building a bridge.
  3. The Pay Off
    First Broadcast: (08/11/1977)
    The men of the Royal Artillery Concert Party put on a show for some Burmese bandits.
  4. Puddings from Heaven
    First Broadcast: (15/11/1977)
    When the men discover a way to get food dropped illegally, they get into trouble. The food (puddings) were meant for some senior officers.
  5. The Superstar
    First Broadcast: (22/11/1977)
    The Concert Party members are made to feel redundant when a talented new arrival steals the limelight.
  6. The Eternal Quadrangle
    First Broadcast: (29/11/1977)
    Gunner Parkins has fallen in love with a pretty Burmese girl from the local village - the same girl that Captain Ashwood and Sergeant Major Williams have been visiting. Then, Gunner Sugden has something to say.

Series 6 (1978)

  1. The Stars Look Down
    First Broadcast: (23/10/1978)
    The men from the Concert Party get to act in an American war movie, but can they stomach the American view of the war?
  2. The Big League
    First Broadcast: (30/10/1978)
    After a drunken incident, the men try to make up with the local population by organising a football match.
  3. The Great Payroll Snatch
    First Broadcast: (06/11/1978)
    When the men from the concert party are guarding the army payroll, a local bandit leader tries to lure the Sergeant Major away from the camp.
  4. The Dhobi Wallahs
    First Broadcast: (20/11/1978)
    Trapped behind enemy lines, the members of the concert party have to disguise themselves as dhobi wallahs.
  5. Lead Kindly Light
    First Broadcast: (27/11/1978)
    To ensure the very existence of the Concert Party the artists have to impress the area commander.
  6. Holidays at Home
    First Broadcast: (11/12/1978)
    Lofty dreams about the 'Bounty'.
  7. Caught Short
    First Broadcast: (18/12/1978)
    With money missing from the petty cash, it falls on Captain Ashwood to solve the crime.

Series 7 (1980)

  1. That's Entertainment?
    First Broadcast: (17/10/1980)
    The Sergeant Major makes a decision guaranteed to cause uproar when he picks a Scottish audience to watch a special English performance.
  2. The Guinea Pigs
    First Broadcast: (24/10/1980)
    The Concert Party are roped into testing a new anti-malaria drug.
  3. Dog in the Manger
    First Broadcast: (31/10/1980)
    Captain Ashwood falls victim to unwanted attention from a female officer.
  4. The Great Broadcast
    First Broadcast: (07/11/1980)
    The men get a chance to perform on Forces Radio.
  5. Class of 1945
    First Broadcast: (14/11/1980)
    In an effort to free themselves from the Sergeant Major the men suggest that he apply for a commission.
  6. Star Commandos
    First Broadcast: (21/11/1980)
    The Concert Party travels to the front.

Series 8 (1981)

  1. Gloria's Finest Hour
    First Broadcast: 23/07/1981)
    A head injury changes Beaumont's personality, turning him into a fighting machine.
  2. Money Talks
    First Broadcast: (30/07/1981)
    When Gunner Graham stands to inherit some money, everybody wants to give him financial advice.
  3. Aquastars
    First Broadcast: (06/08/1981)
    A show on the river does not go the way it was planned.
  4. The Last Warrior
    First Broadcast: (13/08/1981)
    One single Japanese soldier hasn't heard the news that Japan has surrendered. Can the men from the Concert Party convince him to lay down his weapons?
  5. Never the Twain Shall Meet
    First Broadcast: (20/08/1981)
    Now that the war is over, the natives return to their village. They want the men from the Concert Party to move out so that they can return to their homes. Sergeant Major Williams insists on dealing with them in a less than diplomatic fashion.
  6. The Long Road Home
    First Broadcast: (27/08/1981)
    It's time for the men from the Concert Party to start the return journey to Britain. Everyone is supposed to have injections before setting off. The vaccine runs out before Lofty gets his jabs, so he has to stay behind when the others begin their journey. A new batch of vaccine turns up after the others have left, so Lofty is given his injections and, accompanied by the Char Wallah, he sets off to try to catch up with the main evacuation party.
  7. The Last Roll Call
    First Broadcast: (03/09/1981)
    The men reach England and prepare for demobilisation.
Back to Ain't Half Hot Mum home